Before we finish eating the chocolates out of the imaginary advent calendar, let’s flip the calendar back and reminisce over the biggest events in the crypto space for the past year. For all the ‘crab market’ shenanigans, we had a heck of a run. For those of you with the memory capacity of a boozy goldfish, I’ll remind you that we have started the year with Bitcoin hovering just above $16,000. Yeah, it was a pretty darn good year.
Like any good cinematic experience it had everything you could ever wish for – corporate rivalries, banks bursting like a snot bubble, courtroom dramas, convicted hairy plotters and even prosecuted baldies.
Now let’s remember what made the market tick in 2023…
Silicon Valley Bank Collapses
The melodrama of Silicon Valley Bank’s implosion was a twist that no one saw coming, except maybe everyone paying attention to the economy.
The bank that was a babysitter for tech startups and crypto enthusiasts alike, then took a nosedive into the abyss of financial faux pas. Ranked as the 18th largest in the US, SVB got caught in a high-stakes game of musical chairs with money, always betting there’s one more chair than there are people. SVB customers did what any rational group of people smelling smoke would do – they ran for the exits. And boy, did they sprint, taking out a cool $42 billion.
The aftermath? US regulators had to step in with their capes fluttering, trying to save the day and reassure the masses that their piggy banks were still safe and sound. But let’s be real, the tooth fairy had a better chance of restoring faith in the banking system than the suits with their briefcases and damage control.
Just when you thought the plot couldn’t thicken any more, the crypto crowd puffed out their chests with an “I told you so” attitude. They paraded around the ashes of SVB, waving the Bitcoin banner high and mighty, preaching the gospel of decentralization. Bitcoin’s price strutted its stuff back over $30,000, and the crypto fanatics were throwing confetti like it was already New Year’s Eve.
So, pour one out for Silicon Valley Bank when the clock strikes midnight – as it was the unintentional hype man for Bitcoin’s comeback tour.
Binance and Coinbase Find Themselves In Hot Water
Sure enough, not all events this year have been positive for crypto. It’s been quite the rollercoaster, and not the fun kind where you vomit cotton candy at approximately 32m/s.
So, the grand ol’ SEC filed lawsuits against crypto darlings Binance and Coinbase. We’ve had the unfortunate pleasure of watching the US Securities and Exchange Commission play whack-a-mole with these two giants, accusing them of peddling unregistered securities.
In the sizzling month of June 2023, the SEC, in all its regulatory glory, pointed an accusing finger. The SEC didn’t just stop at vague accusations though, they went for the jugular, targeting 19 tokens that had the audacity to be popular… like Solana, Cardano, and Polygon.
Double-digit drops in value? You betcha. It was like watching lemmings jump off a cliff. The SEC, in a move as subtle as a bull in a china shop, had already served Coinbase with a Wells Notice. That’s basically a “We’re coming for you” love letter in regulator-speak. And Binance? They’ve been the apple of the SEC’s eye for ages, especially with their shady activities. I wrote about them not that long ago!
As a result, Binance’s head honcho, Changpeng Zhao, did his best impression of a contrite schoolboy, pleading guilty to breaking US anti-money laundering rules and agreeing to take a time-out from his chair.
Do You Smell What BlackRock Is Cooking!?
Right after the SEC had some heat with exchanges, BlackRock’s iShares unit decided it was the perfect time to sashay into the SEC’s office.
They dropped off some paperwork for a little something called the iShares Bitcoin Trust, aiming to launch a spot Bitcoin ETF. Bold move, considering the SEC has been swatting down Bitcoin ETF dreams like flies at a barbecue, with Grayscale, VanEck, and WisdomTree all nursing their regulatory rejections. The key difference? BlackRock isn’t just any old investment firm.
They’ve got the financial muscles to flex, so when they threw their hat into the Bitcoin ETF ring, people paid attention. It wasn’t just another ETF pitch, it was like the financial Avengers assembling for crypto. Bitcoin, bless its volatile heart, got all giddy on the news and did a happy dance all the way up to nearly $26,000.
But wait, there’s more! In October, the crypto world was treated to another episode of “As the Bitcoin Turns” when BlackRock’s proposed ETF ticker made a cameo on the DTCC website. It wasn’t a green light from the SEC, but traders saw that ticker and started salivating like Pavlov’s dogs at the sound of a bell. They took it as a sign from the trading Gods.
And just like that, Bitcoin’s price shot through the roof, hitting $35,000 faster than you can say “irrational exuberance.” Apparently, all it takes is a little nod to get the crypto crowd whipping out their wallets. Who needs regulatory approval when you’ve got rumors, right?
Hey, I’m not judging. I will be the first to admit that we’re all just a bunch of apes who have lost all sense and most of our body hair.
Prediction That Nobody Will Return To Anyway
Bitcoin and memecoins are rebounding like prime Dennis Rodman.
Twitter keyboard warriors who’ve been throwing shade at the crypto clan are suddenly playing a rousing game of hush-mouth. It’s as if they’ve all taken a vow of silence while the crypto cheerleaders are rooftop shouting their favorite mantra, “have fun staying poor,” like it’s going out of style.
Word on the street is that 2024 is going to roll out the red carpet for bitcoin’s exchange-traded funds, with all the pomp and circumstance of an official green light. Watch out, world, here comes the money – both the big-shot institutions and the average Joes are getting ready to dive into the pool. You heard it here first.
Sometimes, I can’t help but get a little swept up in the silly-season fever. It’s like being at a party you know you shouldn’t enjoy, but the music’s catchy. Sure, the crypto world’s been a hot mess of scams, frauds, and downright depressing news in 2023, but who can resist the ‘what if’ game?
On this epic note, I’ll see myself out for the year. It was a pleasure to be featured on Blockleaders over the past half a year, and who knows, maybe this story will continue.
Happy holiday season, dear readers, and I’ll see you down the road!