Kids are often referred to as ‘the flowers of life’.
But from my perspective, they have more in common with altcoins. Both are extremely volatile, will bring a smile to your face when growing, and will leave you disappointed when they’ll eventually shit the bed. Those are called growing pains!
There are a lot of kids out there, and most of them will not live up to the expectations of their parents. Not because there’s something wrong with them, but because their parents are simply delusional – they will always look at someone who’s better than their child at something and wonder why their kid can’t be the same or even better.
That actually explains why BTC grew up to be the #1 – it is the offspring of the allegedly japanese parent, and those folks are strict. Cut your kids some slack, let them eat sand, and give them drop-sized knowledge about the important stuff in life… like crypto!
Can’t go wrong with this strategy.
Pss Kid, Wanna Start a Financial Revolution?
Children need constant attention from their makers, can’t take your eyes off them. Like tokens.
It is hard to stay productive when you juggle investing and parenting, but if you combine supervising your kids and monitoring your portfolio, you would be able to save so much time!
Efficiency is truly the name of the game.
Graph watching exercise is a good place to start, as your seed will get to know the meaning between two very important colors and will get too occupied to lick a power outlet or flip a TV on themselves. Plus, this exercise might help you identify if the kid is colorblind.
Also, an investment career is a great bonding experience. You win together, and you lose your house together also. It’s a great parent-kid dynamic that will teach your child an all important life lesson. To not tell Mom.
And I’m not discriminating against women in crypto, because ‘Mom’ is a state of mind.
“Whatever Happens Next… Don’t Tell Mom”
We all know that the hardest thing about crypto is simply staying quiet about it.
One does not invest to be quiet about it, and kids can often spill the beans unknowingly, so training them to keep secrets from the more mature parent is an amazing move with unprecedented ROI and long-term potential.
There are more underlying benefits. Think about it, ‘Mom’ won’t care about a bad grade in school if you lose entire family fund trading futures.
Keeping secrets is a virtue, which also requires a trained and well conditioned brain.
Usually mini human beings are tasked to learn poems by heart to improve their memory, but what’s the fun in that? Now learning the seed phrase by heart… that’s more like it.
Monkey, hat, apple, earthquake. We are a quarter way through someone’s key to the kingdom.
Lessons Your Child Won’t Pick Up At School
‘Why do they teach us to do equations? Why not show us how to pay bills, that will be useful!’
Oh sweet summer child, you do not want to get into that malarkey. Paying bills is the speedrun of entering adulthood, a mind-shifting experience that will change the way you look at life forever.
Seen a video where an 11 year old paid her first bill? She goes through a rollercoaster of emotions, ending on a visible low. Crypto provides a similar experience, but at least it has a chance to make all the suffering worth it in the end.
Here’s a great investment lesson to share with your kid: give them two choices – eat half a cookie now, or get two whole cookies after dinner. More likely than not, greed will force your kid to choose option number two, the ‘smart’ option. When they leave – eat ALL the cookies. When confronted about it, just blame volatility.
Another great way to stress test your child’s mental system is to take them to the supermarket, get the whole cart stuffed, pick a spot in the queue and tell them that you forgot something. They will stand there, sweating profusely, hoping that you’ll come back quickly. How naive of them!
Leave them to their own devices. That will give them an authentic DeFi experience. If they make it without shedding a tear – they’ll go places, for sure.
Leech Off Their Beginner’s Luck!
Even though children can’t invest into crypto until they turn 18, somehow it is always some lucky teenagers that become Dogecoin millionaires, right? Something is fishy here.
But we don’t care about that, all we care about is that sweet-sweet profit. There’s this phenomenon called ‘beginner’s luck’ where novices experience a disproportionate frequency of success or succeed against an expert in a given activity.
Don’t be jealous, take advantage of it! If it plays out – buy the kid an ice cream. If it doesn’t pan out… well you just let the kid invest, not your fault really. Pick up all the memecoins you would be ashamed to stick into your own portfolio, and see how it goes.
Memecoins are so hot right now, haven’t you heard?
One would assume that these ideas exploit children and put them into an unfavorable position. That couldn’t be further from the truth though, if they follow the golden rule of investment.