Even though this story is so outlandish and unbelievable that it is reminiscent of the satirical newspaper, it actually happened for real. So what exactly happened?
Well, a pastor from Colorado named Eligio Regalado (if that is his real name) claims to have had a dialogue with the deity, where God instructed the online shepherd to orchestrate a $3.2 million crypto con job.
According to state regulators, his celestial currency INDXcoin is so worthless that even Monopoly money looks like a wise investment in comparison.
Regalado confessed in a video statement that he may have experienced a divine hearing impairment, and now he’s caught up in a legal whirlwind of anti-fraud, licensing, and registration violations for scamming Denver’s Christian community with counterfeit digital currency.
The Lord Said ‘I Want You To Build This’
“We took God at his word and sold a cryptocurrency with no clear exit.” – says Eli.
According to the authorities, this guy and his wife marketed their digital currency as a “low-risk, high-profit investment.” More than 300 starry-eyed investors ended up losing millions, while the Regalados allegedly lived the high life, swimming in pools of deceit.
The couple, claiming divine inspiration, managed to unload their digital snake oil from June 2022 to April 2023, raking in a mere $1.3 million. And what did they spend it on? A home remodel, of course, because nothing says “divine intervention” like granite countertops.
In a masterclass of deflection, Regalado claimed, “Either I misheard God, and every one of you who prayed and came in – you as well. Or two, God is still not done with this project.”
Bravo, sir, for blending deflection and delay into a single, skillful sentence.
Adding insult to injury, it turns out the Regalados were as clueless about cryptocurrency as a goldfish is about astrophysics. A third-party auditor’s report allegedly described their INDXcoin code as a digital catastrophe, complete with safety hazards, insecurity, and more technical glitches than a Windows 95 computer.
In the grand cosmic comedy of errors, the Regalados managed to pull off a spectacle that combines financial shenanigans, questionable theology, and a home renovation, all in one holy mess.
God Is In The Business Of Breaking Seals
So, this Regalado character, with the trading expertise of an orangutan, boldly confessed that his hand was forced by the higher power.
He muttered “Lord, I don’t want to do this. I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t want to be caught up in something. So we launched an exchange. The exchange technology failed. Things went downhill…”
As the business venture nosedived in November, Regalado conveniently had a mental breakdown.
Investors, smelling trouble, started demanding their hard-earned cash back. Funny how the Lord’s guidance didn’t include tips like relocating to a sunny, non-extradition country or splurging some buckaroos on green crocodile leather shoes so that he could slip away unnoticed.
In reality though, this guy’s more wolf than shepherd, wearing a questionable sheepskin outfit. His excuse? He knows that this looks terrible. Now he and his wife are set to appear in Denver District Court.
Something tells me that God will fail to appear in court for rug pulling.
Beyond the comedic facade, it’s crucial to acknowledge the gravity of what transpired here. Taking advantage of people’s trust, especially within a community that holds strong beliefs, is nothing short of deplorable. No amount of humor can mask the fact that this incident involves real people who placed their hard-earned money and trust in someone they deemed a spiritual leader.
I decided to highlight this issue to remind all readers that scammers have no moral compass and will stoop to the lowest of lows to elevate their financial position in the world.
Sometimes the worst people have a holier-than-thou attitude and use their religious stance as a cover up. Beware of the false prophets!